#Ruina #Free Game Until It Breaks - Fukamoto Kedama's Novel - pixiv
1#
The room I rented at Hibari-tei has poor sunlight.
However, this is where I keep my magic books, and I am quite sensitive to sunlight, so the lack of it is actually suitable for me.
As I gazed at the gradually brightening orange sky, I couldn't help but think.
— Recently, I haven't been able to talk to Shifon.
That troublesome sorcerer with vibrant hair like the evening glow and red eyes resembling mine is an extremely strong-willed person. Perhaps due to his insatiable pursuit of power and knowledge, he often gets into arguments with others.
He seems like a twisted person with no redeeming qualities, yet for some reason, he attracts me.
It's interesting to spar with him, and discussing magic freely is enjoyable. Occasionally teasing him elicits amusing reactions, and his shy demeanor is quite cute. These are some of the reasons he draws me in.
I admire, envy, feel humiliated by, yearn for, and experience joy and sorrow through all of Shifon's expressions.
I long to hear more of Shifon's words. I want to know everything about him as much as possible.
So, I stand by his side as his rival. Although if it becomes troublesome, I could easily flatter him to make him happy or simply defeat him completely.
However, I don't do that because I like Shifon.
The pile of books in the corner of the room suddenly collapsed, sending dust swirling into the air.
Watching the dust dance in the faint orange sunlight, I suddenly remembered that I hadn't read my magic books much lately.
After sparring with Shifon and discussing (or arguing about) magic, reading and studying magic has become a routine. I, who am not particularly obsessed with power, might not even touch the magic books if it weren't for Shifon.
My obsession with Shifon seems as intense as his obsession with my (power). It’s only now that I realize this, I thought self-deprecatingly.
Although I want to talk to him, it probably won't happen.
For some reason, that guy has now become the disciple of another host of Didos—Garcias.
Although Shifon was shocked by Garcias's complete lack of magical talent, there was a strange happiness in his expression while accompanying him in training.
Compared to when he is with me, Shifon seems to smile even more happily now.
The space trembled, and a few books from the pile exploded. The continuous sounds of explosions made me realize that my magical power had gone out of control.
I hurriedly focused my mind, and the explosions quickly subsided.
The remnants of magic books scattered across the damp floor. Although this time it was just the books that exploded, if my rampaging magic were directed at a person, the consequences would be unimaginable. For a magician with immense magical power, being unable to effectively control one's mind is fatal.
My master once said that in such situations, it's best to change one's mood.
So, I put on my coat, went downstairs, and stepped outside.
Amidst the noise of the tavern, as soon as I stepped outside, the cold air pierced my body.
I quickly walked through the residential area, caught in the winter's cold wind and the dance of fallen leaves.
A father and son duo, out shopping for dinner, walked past me.
The cold air should have been enough to cool my head, but it was futile in front of the orange sky. The same color as that guy mercilessly burned my eyes and brain.
Bright and beautiful, a color I despise.
"Shifon, thank you again today."
Hearing the familiar name and voice, I immediately hid in the shadows. Glancing at the situation, sure enough, Garcias and Shifon were together.
Seeing Garcias laughing with white hair like mine, I felt a calm hatred surging within me.
"I'll accompany you in your training, so be grateful."
"Haha, I'm very grateful. Speaking of gratitude, are you coming over to my house today?"
"…What’s on the menu today?"
"Yesterday was chocolate pie… today we can make pumpkin pie. By the way, are you not interested in anything other than desserts?"
"Well, I guess meals are okay too?"
"Really? Then my efforts in learning to cook will be worth it."
"It's troublesome to go back, so I’ll stay over at your place. Do you mind?"
"Not at all. How about we just live together?"
"…Hmm, I’ll think about it."
In the harmonious atmosphere, the two headed into the city.
This is a kind of exchange that is absolutely impossible between Shifon and me.
In terms of magic, Garcias has no place to intervene at all. The only one who can spar and discuss with Shifon is me. However, due to the overlapping domains, our exchanges often feel more like a continuation of arguments. Even if I acted like Garcias, Shifon wouldn't become that open. I have already experienced this in previous exchanges.
—Ah, why is that?
Why is it that a muscle-bound idiot like Garcias, who has no magical talent, is the one?
The rising hatred merged with my magical power. The howling wind stole away my body heat.
The feeling that surged from deep within me didn't even have time to take shape before it tore through the air and exploded.
—Why am I left behind?
"Whoa!?"
A surprised voice reached my ears, snapping me back to reality.
My attack didn't hit Shifon but was blocked by Garcias.
His proud defense was meaningless in the face of magical power, and Garcias staggered, blood spilling from his mouth and staining the ground.
He deserved it. This thought, which normally wouldn't appear in my mind, naturally surfaced, but I wasn't too surprised.
Shifon, who was protected, stood there dumbfounded, but soon noticed me and glared sharply in my direction.
Contrary to what I expected, thinking that a fight would ensue next, Shifon immediately turned away.
"Hey, are you okay!? Don't just block attacks like that!"
"Cough cough… I'm fine, I won't go down easily."
Garcias forced a smile as he wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth, turning to me with his hand resting on the sword at his waist. Although he was cautious, he didn't seem to have any intention of provoking a fight, at least not before drawing his sword.
Shifon began chanting a healing spell behind Garcias. The wound quickly healed, and Shifon took a step forward.
"What do you want?"
Usually, he would eagerly seek me out for a fight, but it seems things are different when it involves Garcias.
His cold voice pierced me. I smiled and casually told a lie.
"How about a fight?"
"Are you here to pick a fight with me?"
"Well, sort of. Just keep me company for a while."
"I'm not in the mood. Besides, you shouldn't provoke me when Garcias is around."
Indeed, Shifon was right.
For us, an attack that was just a greeting is a terrifying weapon for someone without magical talent.
If there is no intent to kill, one shouldn't launch an attack in the presence of such a person.
However, saying I came to provoke was a complete lie. In reality, it was just an uncontrollable emotional outburst.
In any case, Shifon's natural concern for Garcias irritates me greatly.
In the situation just now, Shifon prioritized healing Garcias over confronting me. For the usually hot-tempered Shifon, this was a very rare action. It can only mean that he cares a lot about Garcias.
I suppressed the impulse surging within me and sneered.
"Sorry. After all, I thought someone who has been guided by Shifon would have stronger resistance. If you don't even have this little talent, you shouldn't touch magic. Once you lose control, not only you, but even 'friends' could get hurt… or even die."
As I spoke, I shifted my gaze to Shifon. No, I didn't want to do this.
I just wanted to be with Shifon.
So, the fact that that muscle-bound idiot could stay by Shifon's side irritates me greatly.
Even though my feelings are so simple, the unwarranted sarcasm slipped out. Perhaps Shifon's twisted personality has infected me, and I entertained such absurd thoughts. But I still maintained a mocking expression.
"Hey, hey…"
"Don't mind him."
Garcias, who was flustered and wanted to scold me, was stopped by Shifon. It seems Garcias has also heard about the past from Shifon.
The hot-tempered, twisted, and willful Shifon. It's enough for me to know his background alone.
He has no idea that my heart is filled with a maddening possessiveness, silently turning away.
"You're so foolish. Let's go, Garcias."
"Huh!? Wait, is that okay?"
"It doesn't matter, I'm hungry."
"Ah, ah… sorry, Aberion, we're going back."
As Shifon pulled Garcias away from me, he didn't look back.
Left alone under the darkening sky, I bit my lip.
Shifon no longer looked at me. Ignoring my provocation was the best evidence of that.
"Why, ah."
The sorrowful whisper melted away in the deep blue-purple dusk.
2#
My head hurts.
This relatively bright empty house in the forest was initially very dilapidated.
Seeing the unknown dark things lurking densely, it was easy to guess that the previous owner had abandoned this place.
Therefore, I chose this location as a storage place for my increasingly numerous magic books.
I completely exterminated the creatures gathered here, then did a regular cleaning, arranging the magic books on the prepared shelves—treating it as my home, known to no one.
The room was exceptionally dark; was it because of the night? Since my eyes had adapted to the darkness, I could clearly see the surroundings.
The windows, which had been wiped clean, were already shattered, and the curtains were torn. The scattered glass shards and remnants of furniture crunched underfoot, producing a crisp and pleasant sound.
"Shifon."
I tried to calmly call his name, and the guy leaning against the wall, panting, glared at me.
His bright orange eyes sparkled. Despite being covered in blood, Shifon did not lower his wand.
And I stood before the west wind, unharmed.
"Are you okay?"
As I spoke, I slowly approached. The light of the crescent moon fell weakly and gently, illuminating the pained and gasping Shifon.
Perhaps due to an unprecedented outburst of magical power, I was tormented by a severe headache and dizziness. However, my heart was immensely satisfied, so I could barely manage a smile.
"…Damn it, don't underestimate me!"
Shifon struggled to stand up, and I shot an arrow woven with magic into his abdomen, stopping him.
I knew this was too harsh, but this stubborn guy would never give up unless he experienced pain.
"Uh, ha…"
"Don't overdo it."
I supported the swaying Shifon. For a man, his body was too slender.
Even if he became fragmented, he was still a precious treasure to me.
I hopelessly liked the strong-willed and awkward Shifon.
Yet, I had hurt him like this.
Beyond the usual sparring (or arguing), I had caused him such injuries, but I still couldn't help but care for Shifon, mocking my own contradictions.
Shifon had always been obsessed with my power.
Even after I inherited the "Book of Keys," he never gave up his greedy pursuit of knowledge and power, always sneering and declaring that he would defeat me one day.
Although he said he hated guys like me, he still acknowledged me and always regarded me as a rival.
I understood how absurd it was for me to develop romantic feelings for Shifon, but even just that was enough happiness for me.
However, Shifon no longer looked at me.
For some reason, Garcias, another host of Didos, appeared.
He said, "Our powers are very compatible," and took Shifon away. Since then, the two of them had gradually been seen together more often. Even after peace was restored, the situation didn't change.
Because their areas of expertise didn't overlap, they had no reason to argue. Perhaps because of this, Shifon was very open with Garcias. He seemed happier with Garcias than with me, smiling more often.
Because Garcias respected Shifon, became his shield, cooked for him, and sincerely offered him his kindness, Shifon probably liked him.
Perhaps I was jealous of Garcias, or perhaps Shifon truly hated me.
Just when I was troubled by this, I was finally able to drink with Shifon again. I was extremely happy.
During our casual conversation, the slightly tipsy Shifon suddenly said softly.
—I really like Garcias.
—So, unconsciously, I've been cold to you.
—But I don't dislike you that much.
While I felt relieved that I wasn't disliked, I also realized that he liked Garcias. Faced with this fact, I could no longer suppress the impulses within me.
Just saying I wanted to deal with the backlog of magic books, Shifon followed me without suspicion.
As soon as I opened the door, Shifon's eyes lit up, and he began rummaging through the magic books. Seizing the opportunity, I took the initiative to attack.
There was no need to use overwhelming magical power against him; with just a bit of force, Shifon was quickly pushed to this point.
"Punish my enemies with pain—"
The familiar chant pulled me back from the depths of thought. It seemed to be a spell for casting lightning. Its power wasn't great, but the chant time was short, and the magical consumption was low, making it a suitable magic for creating opportunities.
Having analyzed it up to this point, I had the leisure to deploy a barrier or dismantle his spell. Choosing to endure the attack was merely a whim.
"I advise you not to overdo it, but you won't listen."
With a snap, the burning pain felt quite pleasant. The difference in magical power directly reflected in strength, so it wasn't much of a threat.
I smiled, tightly embracing Shifon.
It seemed that Shifon's earlier strike had exhausted all his magical power, and his wand finally slipped from his hand, clattering heavily.
"Y-You bastard! Don't underestimate me…!"
"I'm not underestimating you."
"Just kill me already!"
As I reveled in the joy of holding Shifon, he seized the chance to break free from my arm. He fell to the floor but still kept his gaze fixed on me, his voice trembling in a show of bravado.
"I like you."
"…Huh?"
"I really, really like Shifon. So, please only look at me—"
"Don't joke around!"
Shifon shouted at an unbelievable volume.
"Don't get the wrong idea! I hate you the most!"
Faced with such a clear rejection, something within me crumbled, and I distinctly realized that something had shattered again.
The pitch-black impulse surging from deep within me directly transformed into magical power. I controlled the force and hurled the magic at Shifon. He let out a pained groan and exhaled.
"…"
"You lost."
I grabbed his hair and forcefully lifted his chin with my wand. His orange pupils were filled with humiliation.
Enjoying the sensation of his slightly damaged hair, I couldn't help but smile. Perhaps only with Shifon did I have this sadistic tendency; I pondered this absurd thought.
"Do you hate me?"
"…I’ll kill you right away."
"Well, that's more like it."
Even if his feelings weren't love, as long as he only looked at me and was fixated on me, this state was enough for me.
So I tormented Shifon.
Wrapping him in honey-like tenderness, I could never surpass Garcias.
"Only look at me. Pour that feeling into me. Hate me even more."
His unwavering orange gaze pierced me directly. Faced with a twisted affection that could only be described as madness, the unyielding Shifon even appeared somewhat cute.
So I discarded my wand and cupped his face. I squatted down and licked the blood from the corner of Shifon's mouth.
"…Yah!?"
A voice filled with astonishment rang out. The sharp killing intent surrounding Shifon weakened in an instant. Seizing the opportunity, I invaded his mouth with my tongue. It didn't matter if my tongue got bitten off.
"…Ha, huff…"
The sounds became ambiguous. Shifon's hands gripped my arm, seemingly trying to resist, but he couldn't muster any strength.
I entwined my tongue with his, licking, and Shifon's pupils became dazed with pleasure.
A chilling sensation rapidly spread from my spine throughout my body.
I could no longer discern whose sweet gasps echoed in the air.
"…Ha, stop, hands…"
Provoked by the unusually sticky sounds, I felt my head was about to explode.
In the moment I judged that I wouldn't continue, as our lips parted, a flash of silver light flickered. A dagger suddenly pierced my abdomen. The red seeping out stained my black robe.
"…Oh, you're putting in more effort than I imagined."
Even abandoning healing, I placed my hand on Shifon's neck.
He might have expected me to show a flaw due to the pain, and Shifon looked at me in surprise.
I saw an unprecedented fear in him, and the pleasure and excitement in my heart were indescribable. The scars Shifon left on me throbbed faintly.
Ignoring his instinctual pleas, I tightened my grip around Shifon's neck.
"Listen to me, Shifon."
Shifon struggled painfully, desperately trying to breathe, and I pressed him down hard, speaking.
"Whether it's hatred or intent to kill, as long as you are fixated on me."
I gradually tightened my fingers. Although I couldn't match Garcias and Nilu, I still had the strength of an ordinary person.
—I still have the power to strangle a weakened person.
"I'll be a little gentler next time."
So, before I love you to madness, before I completely break down.
"Fall to my side."
Having said that, I finally released my grip. Shifon had already lost consciousness.
I tightly embraced his weakened body, casually whispering an apology.
His pulse was still there. I let out a long breath, supporting Shifon's body with my right hand, while my left hand ran through his orange hair.
The colors of hope that could not be abandoned, like a sorrowful sunset, soaked in moonlight, shimmering.